How to balance assertiveness and confidence with empathy in the workplace?

Speak up and speak out while not losing empathy or wounding others? Try 3 ways to be assertive, not abrasive:

1. The #1 complaint about a person’s verbal abrasiveness is talking too much, too loud, too fast. So let them talk first! Acknowledge their point and then be assertive not abrasive: State your preference and support it with logic, assurance, and calm.
2. What guarantees to come across as dis & disrespect? Using email/IM to deliver bad news. Your coworker deserves to hear from you directly, especially if you made promises. Not ghosting is part of being assertive not abrasive.
3. You don’t have to fix their problems! The saying “no good deed goes unpunished” has merit because:
   • some of us confuse empathy with solving their problems;
   • all of us assume we’re helping not meddling;
   • few of us have the time or energy to do good to the end!

SEE ALSO:

What to do when your assertiveness is mistaken for aggression?

How to stimulate analytical thinking with emotions?

How to handle power dynamics when other panelists hold more power?

How to respond to criticism from peers?

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